Tag Archives: dating advice

How To Say It: How to Reject an Unexpected Date Invitation

This line fell out of my mouth when a man asked me out on a date five minutes after we met. It felt like the perfect thing to say without lying, and I liked the way he reacted to it. The Situation: As you wait in line at the post office, you have a 5-minute […]

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How To Say It: Decline A Long-time Friend Who Now Wants More

The Issue: Sexual Chemistry as the Dealbreaker. You have been close friends for a long time and love each other. But now he wants it all, sex and a serious relationship with you. Having him as your partner would be perfect. You can see yourself living your life with him … except that you have […]

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How To Say It: Decline A New Friend Who Wants More

The Issue: You recently met and became quick friends. Soon thereafter, the flirting started… and not by you. At first you laughed it off, but now it happens a lot. Clearly, he wants to cross the platonic line but sex with him is not interesting to you. It’s time to tell him you want friendship […]

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How To Say It: A New Relationship – Not On Same Page? How to Break It Off

The Issue: You like this person. You want more but sense the feeling is not mutual. You spend more time feeling anxious rather than happy about the relationship. Maintain your integrity. It’s time to communicate your feelings, knowing this conversation could likely end the relationship. Don’t lose yourself in hard work trying to get your […]

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How To Say It: Dating Someone New – The Break It Off Talk

The Issue: You have been out a few times and you like this person. Unfortunately, the romantic spark isn’t there for you. But, you like the idea of becoming friends. The Opener: “I am glad to be spending time with you. I like the easy connection we have. And,” Get In It (3 options): “I […]

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Build a fort. Start talking.

Without exception, every breakup story I hear has to do with a breakdown in communication. A while back I wrote a post urging couples to supervise their relationships. Have scheduled talks that I call “The Huong Phat.” While this concept freaks out most every man I know, my response is “so what?” Would you rather […]

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Ambiguity is a silent relationship-killer

Ask me anything, if you do not understand me. I’ll try my best to be clear and honest with you. Why is it so hard for you to return the favor so that I can get clarity about what’s going on between us? Do not give me hints. Do not force me to decode the […]

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Music Personality Baby-Naming

Years ago, I needed a relevant way to identify the four types of music listeners that I believe exist in the world. Back then, I called them Devotees, Enthusiasts, Ambivalents and Apathetics. I suspected the latter two groups might not appreciate the name-calling, so I needed neutral names, not knowing how these labels would be […]

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When to Pull the Plug?

The Realtionship Issue:  How long do you stay in a new relationship before pulling the plug? Almost worse than being in a bad relationship is being in an okay relationship that’s enjoyable-enough but deep down you know this person is not the love of your life.   How long do you give it before admitting that […]

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My 5 Relationship Showstoppers

My boyfriend and I broke up a few weeks ago. The relationship was ten months old and I was in love. Although it felt like torture, I could not ignore that abrupt and sad moment when I realized the likelihood was slim that our relationship could survive. How did I know the time had come? […]

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