Join the “Bad-Date Repellent Consortium.” Get MOD.

By admini | Published: June 7, 2007

MOD (music online dating) is the pet name for the widget that holds our Music Personality Quiz. If you are a music blogger or music-related site owner, take it. Become a member of the “Bad-Date Repellent Consortium.”

What if … bad-date repellent does exist and the brand name is “music?”

What if … music can predict compatibility and help us find the right long-term relationship?

We believe it does and it can. We hope you will, too.

We believe the secret to finding meaningful relationships begins with music. A Sound Match was created to match like-minded music lovers, for love or friendship. The first step is taking the Music Personality Quiz, now available in bite-sized MOD.

Add the widget if you want to:

1. Offer your music lovers a fun quiz that reveals Music Personality (whether or not they’re single).
2. Help match your single music lovers with like-minded others around the web.

Either way, we will be thrilled if you join our mission to create a world full of happy, respectful, loving relationships. Or … to save friends from bad dates.

If music is important to you, become part of The Consortium and spread the wealth. We all want love. It’s all free.

Our MOD Widget

It’s easy to add the widget to your page. If you want it, send Lynne an email. She’ll tell you where to grab the link.

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Music fan? “Live” Playlist for you. For Free.

By admini | Published: May 28, 2007

This morning, I was talking on the phone with a friend about the new music he liked. Within seconds, I started playing the full length albums on his list. I love this!

If one of your great joys is discovering new music, playing old favorites or making mixes for friends, check out Rhapsody. Each time I use it, I feel like I walked into Amoeba (record store) with a gift certificate in the amount of “carte blanche.”

For free, you can listen to 25 tracks/month. When you want to hear more (and it’s likely you will), get a subscription for $10/month.* A small popup web player is all you need to listen.

Here are artists & albums that have caught my ear lately. Play the music for free. Check out what Rhapsody has to offer.

By the way, Rhapsody is the music engine for A Sound Match. Insert your own “live” playlists to your profile and emails.

Lynne’s 10 Blog Songs (click to play or download the web player)

[You can play one, stop the player, and move on to search for your own tracks to play for free on rhapsody.com]

Jose Gonzalez-Slow Moves
Pinback-Seville (demo)
Pop Levi-(A style called) Crying Chic
Rodrigo y Gabriela-Diablo Rojo
The Avett Bros-Matrimony
The Features-Walk You Home
The Shins-Sea Legs
Elbow-Leaders of the Free World
Gotan Project-Mi Confesion
Cal Tjader(Verve Remixed)-Los Banditos

*[Note: Get it now to lock in $10. Sadly, the fee increases to $12.99/mo as of June 1. It's Mac + PC-friendly. For a bit more, you can also put the music on your mp3 player and take it with you anywhere.]

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He’s Just Not That Into You: Personal Rules of Dating as a Guide for Doing Business

By admini | Published: May 25, 2007

Dating is rarely straightforward.  To stay sane, I have developed strategies to help guide me through the confusion and frustration.

Business should be straightforward. But it’s not. Often, I find myself tackling the same issues. Is it too soon to call? What did he mean by that? It’s been weeks, does this mean he’s not that into me?

I wondered. What if I applied my personal rules of dating to uncomfortable business situations?

One golden rule of dating: The beginning of a relationship should feel mutual and effortless.

Even the best relationships have their challenges. No need to start early. It may be time to let go after a few dates if something doesn’t feel quite right. Even if the dates are thrilling. So far, this rule has well served me. Why not apply this rule to new business relationships?

I was recently introduced to a business contact who was described as “the one” to help A Sound Match move forward. I was intrigued and eager to connect. It took effort to get him on the phone, but we had a great call. He said he was interested and wanted to meet me. Only, it took weeks to reach him again to set up a meeting during the few days I was traveling in his area. Did I imagine his interest? At last, we arranged to meet with only a few hours to spare before my flight left town. Before we met, I felt skeptical about whether this guy was for me.

But … the meeting was great! We spent three hours together. I liked his ideas and energy. His enthusiasm for my business was clear. Working with him could be the very thing I needed. I was ready to get down to business and willing to overlook my initial skepticism. I felt thrilled.

Only, we met several weeks ago and I haven’t heard from him since. I emailed once and waited. It was tempting to reach out again. But, experience told me to step back to see if he liked me as much as I liked him. Guess he’s just not that into me. With little invested, the pain of withdrawal is minimal. Rather than get tangled in a new relationship that was already showing signs of pending confusion and frustration, it feels right to move on and find another relationship that feels mutual and effortless. No hard feelings.

Some people hate to date because of the rejection. I think it’s a gift. Over and over, the experience guides me through other important life decisions. Wouldn’t trade it for a thing.

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The Sucky/Lucky List

By admini | Published: February 9, 2007

I have wanted to write about the insanity and thrill of creating a small empire — a happy realm in which music helps people find healthy, meaningful relationships, among other things.

But, until the drug companies release the product for cloning and budding more body parts, I am forced to create the simplest methods to get stuff done.  

Enter the Sucky/Lucky List.

I wouldn’t think to mention it. But, a bunch of friends think it’s funny and they’ve also encouraged me to share the wealth. So, here.

It’s a sheet of paper with 2 columns, one entitled “Sucky,” the other “Lucky.” Complex, I know. Each week, I record the significant experiences – both sucky and lucky – that result from trying to move forward the business, the web service, and my life.

What pushed me to create this particular list?  Because, I was letting my sucky experiences overshadow the lucky ones – which is clearly not conducive to forging ahead as a new business. There have been times when a sucky experience has knocked the wind out of my sails so hard that I felt temporarily paralyzed and unable to trust my next steps.

I needed inspiration, something at hand to remind me that I am making progress, that I do have support and that I am reaching my milestones. Beyond my expectation, this list delivered even more.

Without exception, every single week (going on 17 weeks now), the LUCKY list outnumbers and outweighs the SUCKY list. And, I bet the same thing would happen for you.

This list forces me to see that the choice is mine when it comes to letting the sucky have more power over the lucky. This list forces me to see and feel proud of the progress I have made, no matter where it takes me tomorrow. The list puts the wind back into my sails.

And, the Sucky/Lucky List offers the perfect solution for quickly memorializing the evolution of A Sound Match … or for any life experience to remember.

Maybe it’s time to change the title and start calling it what it is:

The Lucky List.

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Pitching to Win. A contest or a date? Same thing.

By admini | Published: November 15, 2006

 

Yesterday, I won the first round of an elevator pitch contest at StartupNation – a national radio show and online business that serves startup businesses with information, community and support.

What an eye opener.

There’s not much difference between entering a contest of skill or the world of dating. Either way, you put your ego on the line, present your best self in a limited amount of time and learn not to take anything personally.

I didn’t wake up one morning proclaiming that I wanted to be an Internet entrepreneur. Maybe if I had, and the right someone special was there to hear it, he’d have knocked some sense into me … and life would be calmer these days.

I felt driven to create a service that would allow me to match compatible people using music as the filter. Eventually, it became my startup business called A Sound Match.

The business has been a labor of love for a while now. And, I wouldn’t have it any other way. The online dating service is launched, members can play music while browsing profiles and I’ve got a great cast of advisors. Knowing what to do, when to do it and how it’ll get done changes from day to day.

Bottom line is, I am still a one-woman show. I need help promoting and developing the service.

Launching a startup is exciting and draining. Just like dating. It can also be demoralizing and make you feel more alone in the world. Just like dating.

But, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, right? (Wayne Gretsky)

Five contestants were asked to go on the air and give a one-minute elevator pitch as though he or she was speaking to a potential investor. After hearing the pitch, the “entrepreneurial expert” radio hosts would critique it. Then, the online community would vote for it. Or not.

The upside was getting valuable business advice so that I could confidently approach angel investors. This became more important than avoiding a bruised ego if my pitch got slammed. So I agreed to compete (with only a day to prepare).

But, then the online voting got unexpectedly competitive. With only two days left to vote, I felt compelled to campaign hard and ask for votes or I’d lose the contest.

This is when my world opened. Family, friends, friends-of-friends, business acquaintances, and others still unknown to me all took the time to hear the pitch and cast a vote.

I am touched by their vote of confidence. Suddenly, I don’t feel so alone. Suddenly, I have a renewed sense of enthusiasm, motivation and inspiration to forge ahead.

If we don’t put ourselves out there, if we don’t pitch ourselves to a potential date, community or investor, we can never win the prize.

I have to move on to the final round, but as far as I’m concerned, I’ve already won big.

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“What? You’re over 40 and want to breed?!?”

By admini | Published: October 24, 2006

(What NOT to say after meeting at a speed-dating event)

I finally got myself to a speed dating event last week and had a blast. I met thirteen men and had four minutes to decide if I would mark them as a “yes” on my scorecard.

Let’s be clear. Four minutes is only time enough to consider whether, at a future occasion, you’d jump the bones of your interviewee. It is not enough time to determine your compatibility.

Fortunately I had my secret decoder at hand. I knew if I got my date talking about his interest in music, I’d have the information I needed to score him a “yes” or a “no.” My plan worked beautifully.

I said yes to six of the thirteen men and they all said yes to me. (You learn this online at the company’s website a day later.) I thought I might be compatible with these men because each one had indicated that music was important to him (plus, I thought they were all cute). They must’ve appreciated my approach, because right away I heard from three of them.

Having already resolved two important pieces of the dating puzzle, that there’s chemistry and that we were a sound match, next up was to learn the basic lifestyle preferences of my potential dates (easily obtained by reading the person’s online profile).

Oh well. One down. The guy I felt had the most promise (he worked in the music business) clearly wrote in his profile that kids weren’t part of his life agenda. Since I’m 40, I would like to keep the possibility open until I’m sure whether or not kids will become part of my life. So, I replied to his email and told him my thoughts. And, I suggested we explore friendship because it seemed like we had a lot of similar interests. His response?

Sure, he’s interested in exploring friendship because he has, like, two female friends. And, he wanted to make sure I knew that “If you’re gonna breed, you’d better do so soon because I’ve heard it becomes more dangerous to do so after the age of 40 (for women that is)!”

Gee, thanks for the tip. That solves the mystery surrounding why he only has two girl friends. Poor thing.

I’m still deciding how I’ll respond to his message. This kind of social ineptitude is hard to detect in four minutes, so thankfully there’s online follow up. Clearly, he’s big on opinion and deficient in social communication skills. He’s the perfect target audience for my intention to help people learn “how to say it.”

Since contrast is important, I thought knowing what NOT to say could benefit those social geeks out there. You know who you are. If you need help having a normal conversation with a woman, write a comment, pose a question and I’ll help you approach your conversation or email so that you don’t immediately annihilate your chance of ever getting a date…

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“The Date” That Pushed Me Into Epiphany

By admini | Published: October 4, 2006

Years ago, a childhood friend of mine decided he wanted to fix me up with his doctor friends.

He called me a bunch of times always prepared with the hard sell of why I should date a particular colleague of his. After hearing all the vague stats like the car he drove, where he went to medical school and other fluff, I would inevitably ask about the guy’s taste in music. My friend’s inevitable response (spoken with irritation): “I don’t know. That’s not important. You can ask him when he calls you tonight. I already gave him your number.”

At the time, I believed that two people needed to know and like the same music to get along.  It helps, but I’ve learned there’s more to it than that.

When I first spoke with this doctor, it didn’t seem fair or polite to talk only about music with him (I’m not nearly as gracious now). So, I justified scheduling a date to get more information about his music sensibilities. And, since he came highly recommended, how bad could the date be?

This was the last time I let this friend or any others set me up with a “music unknown.”

Our one conversation had me believing that this man was fairly cool and interested in music, after briefly hearing about his affinity for 80’s rock bands (later to learn he meant Def Leppard and Bon Jovi, not The Jam or The Cure). I figured I’d let him fill in the rest of his music preferences during the walk in the park we’d planned to take. Only, I didn’t need the walk to get the picture. The moment we met and I walked into his apartment I got it.

Everything about this guy was slick, from the black lacquered furniture with gold beveled edges to his hair. I scanned the shimmery apartment and shaggy carpets hoping to spot anything resembling unique character. The apartment was decorated like bad corporate housing. I suspected I was doomed to an afternoon of boredom. My date didn’t let me down.

As the date continued, I probed him to talk more about music, but I guess we’d already covered that base. While I do remember his bad style, I can’t remember one interesting thing he said to me that day. His personality matched his taste in music. It was completely one-dimensional.

I excused myself from the date as fast as I could. I spent the entire drive home muttering to myself that I’d never again be set up by a friend, nor would I go on another date, without first getting (and paying attention to) the complete music picture.

As much as this date sucked, it caused my first epiphany confirming that music defines personality and should determine my dating decisions.

The day after this date, I started my research project, blandly titled for the next long while, “my music theory.”

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What caused this music-matching madness?

By admini | Published: September 25, 2006

Shyness. As a kid, I spent more time watching people than interacting with them. I was fascinated by my classmates’ behavior and why certain kids became friends. Needless to say, my after school schedule wasn’t bursting with playdates.

As I entered the world of teenage romance, what made couples get together and break apart became even more fascinating. I wanted experiences of my own, so I worked hard to nix the shyness. By then, I’d become a pro at figuring out what made people tick. I was proud to be the “to go” friend — the first one that my friends would approach for advice on how to handle irate parents, cute boys or catty girls.

At 16, I developed a crush on a boy who loved The Doors and played in a band. He became my first love and we dated for over 5 years. The seed for A Sound Match was planted.

I don’t have a formal psychology education. But, I have been a lifelong student of people in relationships.  For a long time, I’ve successfully helped people navigate through their relationships.   And… I’ve got 20+ years of my own dating and relationship experiences.

I believe everyone is entitled to have a healthy, loving, respectful and passionate romantic relationship. And, from what I’ve seen, I know most people simply don’t have the tools to know it when they see it or handle it when they find it.

When I discovered my “bad date repellent” formula — that music was an excellent predictor of compatibility — I felt driven to validate my music theory and help single people find healthy relationships. When I first learned about online dating, it became clear that I’d found the perfect venue in which to sing the praises of A Sound Match.

It’s taken a lot of time and work to develop and refine the music test to accurately reflect overall personality. I wanted to create an online dating experience unlike any other, one that inspires a fun, vibrant community of people sharing music and their life stories. It’s tempting to revert back to my shy days, but instead, I’ll share my dating tales and first-time entrepreneurial adventures. I’ll do this so that you can see the evolution of A Sound Match and how music can help you find your sound match.

~Lynne

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Adding Pictures to Your Profile

By admini | Published: September 17, 2006

Please do! You’ll receive more responses if you post a picture of yourself. It’s just the way online dating works. Mysteriousness doesn’t cut it these days.

A few people have asked how they post photos to their profiles. Here’s how:

  • Log in … Look at the top navigation bar, click the tab “My Account” > “My photos”
  • When you reach the photo management page, click the browse button to find the photos that you have stored on your computer (that you’d like to post).
  • Click “Submit” to upload your picture files into your photo management page. There, you can also indicate what photo you’d like to have as your main photo.

That’s it.

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Why don’t I have any matches?

By admini | Published: September 15, 2006

A Sound Match is just getting started. We’re very happy to have you here. We are working at spreading the word that music matches us and hope that you will too!

To increase your likelihood of getting matches, please invite everyone you know to take the 3-minute music test – it doesn’t matter if these people are friends, single or attached (see below for the various ways to do this).

We’ll match your scores and email you both telling you where you rank on the compatibility indicator. It’s fun to see how musically-matched you are with your friends.

Then, your friends can invite more friends to become members and so on. This will increase the number of matches you’ll get!

It’s all about networking. Your friends have friends who have friends that you don’t know … yet.

There are three (3) ways for you to invite people into the site:

1. Inside the welcome email we sent to you, click the link in the green box that says “Does your Music Personality match with your friends?”

2. After log in, upper right corner on each page resides a link called “Match with a friend?”

3. After log in, right side of page, look for the module “Does your Music Personality match with your friends?”

Our goal is to help people find healthy relationships, for love or friendship. Obviously, we feel strongly that music is the best predictor we have for determining compatibility. Why? Learn more here.

We’d love to hear from you! For comments, questions, rants, etc., contact us.

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