How To Say It: Decline A New Friend Who Wants More

The Issue:

You recently met and became quick friends. Soon thereafter, the flirting started… and not by you. At first you laughed it off, but now it happens a lot. Clearly, he wants to cross the platonic line but sex with him is not interesting to you. It’s time to tell him you want friendship and nothing more.

When to Approach:

Right after the flirtatious comment is flung at you.

The Opener:
[with a smile] “Just to be clear, is your flirting an invitation to fool around?”

Get In It:
[Note: These phrases are the suggested skeleton for the conversation. Add filler if it helps.]

” It’s great that we have become close friends so fast. It feels like you already know me well and I like that a lot.

I’m flattered that you want me. And … I see us staying on the platonic track. I am all for flirting as long as we are on the same page about where it’s going. I like our connection the way it is now and I’d like to keep it this way.”

Close It:

“I want us to stay close friends. Are you alright with this?”

If you want to tailor “How to Say It” for your particular situation, write in and ask me.


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