Category Archives: how to say it

Vacation Needy?

Question from a reader: Been married 35 years. For the past 10 years my husband has slowly been cutting me out of his life. He has his own friends, his own activities. Our last vacation together was 5 years ago. I want a nice vacation. It started with wanting a really nice vacation for our […]

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How To Say It: How to Reject an Unexpected Date Invitation

This line fell out of my mouth when a man asked me out on a date five minutes after we met. It felt like the perfect thing to say without lying, and I liked the way he reacted to it. The Situation: As you wait in line at the post office, you have a 5-minute […]

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How To Say It: Decline A Long-time Friend Who Now Wants More

The Issue: Sexual Chemistry as the Dealbreaker. You have been close friends for a long time and love each other. But now he wants it all, sex and a serious relationship with you. Having him as your partner would be perfect. You can see yourself living your life with him … except that you have […]

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How To Say It: Decline A New Friend Who Wants More

The Issue: You recently met and became quick friends. Soon thereafter, the flirting started… and not by you. At first you laughed it off, but now it happens a lot. Clearly, he wants to cross the platonic line but sex with him is not interesting to you. It’s time to tell him you want friendship […]

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How To Say It: A New Relationship – Not On Same Page? How to Break It Off

The Issue: You like this person. You want more but sense the feeling is not mutual. You spend more time feeling anxious rather than happy about the relationship. Maintain your integrity. It’s time to communicate your feelings, knowing this conversation could likely end the relationship. Don’t lose yourself in hard work trying to get your […]

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How To Say It: Dating Someone New – The Break It Off Talk

The Issue: You have been out a few times and you like this person. Unfortunately, the romantic spark isn’t there for you. But, you like the idea of becoming friends. The Opener: “I am glad to be spending time with you. I like the easy connection we have. And,” Get In It (3 options): “I […]

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“How To Say It” Series

The “We Need to Talk” division of A Sound Match helps you manage your dates, significant others and all kinds of personal relationships with practical tips and advice. The “How To Say It” Series suggests how to calmly start a difficult conversation and walk away feeling relieved. Intimidated by an upcoming talk? Make your approach, […]

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Build a fort. Start talking.

Without exception, every breakup story I hear has to do with a breakdown in communication. A while back I wrote a post urging couples to supervise their relationships. Have scheduled talks that I call “The Huong Phat.” While this concept freaks out most every man I know, my response is “so what?” Would you rather […]

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